In the previous parts, I wrote about Self Esteem and Emotional Dependency . Main root cause of low Self Esteem and Emotional Dependency is lack of Self Love.
What is this Self Love stuff?. If you pay more attention to this and go little deep then you will discover very interesting things. Do you know any one who is generally optimistic and happy irrespective of any achievements, growth, status, wealth, etc? And at the same time do you know people who live in hurry, anxious, always achievement focused, etc (kind of Type A personalities) and live without contentment and real happiness. The most significant difference between these two types of people is SELF LOVE.
When you have sufficient self love you are generally happy – independent of achievements or any other things. Does this mean these people don’t achieve and live in just simple happy life – not necessarily. In fact, people with real self love would emerge as authentic leaders. When you have self love you do things with love and also like/love people around you. Basis of optimism is self love.
Contrast to this, people who lack self love might achieve more – but to prove a point and to fill their emptiness inside. But this kind of achievement ruptures. Most importantly SELF. Lot of ego, controlling behavior, etc are just some of the offshoots of lack of love.
Lack self of love mainly would start at childhood – from parenting, experiences and it can be genetic as well (based on how you base brain got formed).
Building self love is not a quick fix. It is a real transformation work and you need to re-design your core beliefs. Self love is worth Billions !!
Extreme of opposite of Self Love is Narcissism. Will cover this tomorrow.
YK